Nightmares…


Nightmares are a crazy thing, aren’t they?  I had a wowza of a nightmare last night.  I woke up ready to fight and let me tell you…I was angry!  The whole thing was ridiculous but still, I was in a foul mood.  The bad mood has faded but I still can’t shake this bad dream.

First…a let me set-up a few things.  In my nightmare…

My husband had left me.  I am not sure where he had gone or why he had left but I knew that he was gone, I had our puppies and my heart was broken.  It was depressing but nightmares are rarely happy, right?

I had also moved out of Florida and was living with my husband’s aunt in Georgia.  I was renting her basement apartment.  I don’t know why I was living there especially since my husband and I were no longer together but I was.  It was also understood that my husband didn’t know I was there which means I must have moved in with her after my husband left me.  That makes the whole nightmare even more odd.

Now that I’ve set it up…here’s what happened…

I was outside painting on an easel (I don’t paint in real life but I painting in my dream) when his aunt came out and said to me, “Hey. I just got a phone call from (husband) and he’s in town.  He wanted to stop by and visit with me.  He’s coming by for dinner.  I just wanted to let you know.  I know he doesn’t know you’re living here and you haven’t seen him in two years.  You can either go out or stay downstairs.  You should also move your car, you know he’ll recognize it.”

I packed up my easel and paints, took them downstairs and went outside to move my car.  I suppose I was feeling devilish because I did pull it out of the driveway but I parked it on the street near a neighbor’s house where I knew my husband would still see it.  I have a sticker for my beloved TB Rays in the window, a sticker my husband bought me, and that I knew he would recognize.  In my dream, I wanted him to know I was there.  I then went downstairs to my basement apartment, made myself dinner and put in a sad movie.

Then my dream switches and I’m watching my husband drive up to his aunt’s house.  I see him see my car and he just kind of looks at it confused.  He knows it’s my car but yet he can’t seem to believe that I’m really there.  Somehow he dismisses it as coincidence and goes up to visit his aunt.  I’m downstairs but I hear the doorbell.  My little puppies go crazy when they hear the doorbell and are barking incessantly but stop barking when they hear his voice.

PUPS

Our oldest dog stops, cocks his head sideways and then looks at me confused as if it say, “Am I really hearing who I think I’m hearing?  Is that Dad?!?!??!”  The younger pup just lays down and whines.  He knows.  I cuddle with them and return to my sad movie while my husband is upstairs visiting with his family.

Then…I can’t help myself.  I creep upstairs just to the top where I can clearly hear voices but no one can see me.  I hear my husband say, “I hope you don’t mind that I brought (new girlfriend) with me.  We were in town on vacation and I just wanted to stop in to see you before we went home.”  THAT. WAS. IT.  My fury was boiling!  I went back downstairs, got the puppies and let them out into the backyard.  I knew that upstairs they were eating dinner, I knew that the dining table faced the backyard and I knew that my husband would see my dogs, our dogs out there.  I knew, that he would know, that I was there.  After awhile we went back downstairs.  My husband left.  I cried.  It was awful.

Then…sometime later that night someone knocked on my door, the door that led directly to the basement apartment.  I opened it and there stood my husband.  He looked…sad.  He told me he knew I was there…he saw my car and then the dogs…wanted to come downstairs to see me but didn’t know what to say…it had been two years…missed me…still loved me…didn’t know what went wrong…  Naturally, I didn’t know what had happened either.  He had been the one to leave me.  I cried.  I didn’t know what else to do.  The puppies were jumping all over him, so happy that he was home!  I cried…he hugged me…

Then…his new girlfriend walked in.  I don’t know why she was there or how she got there but it’s a nightmare and sometimes stuff just happens.  Verbally…I exploded!  Just who in the hell did she think she was?  I wanted to smash her pretty little face in!  I remember saying all sorts of dreadful things and calling her names that I would repeat even in a blog.  Then…THEN…the snarky little bitch says, “Listen, it’s very simple.  He deserved better and now he has it.”  She then walked over to him and put her arm around his waist.  I grabbed her arm, broke it at the elbow, and kicked her ass.  All of my years of martial arts training came out and I beat her half to death…just before informing her that our divorce was not finaled.  I hadn’t signed papers.  I still loved my husband.

Then…I woke up.

I woke up to find my husband had started coffee and had an apple fritter (my favorite) ready for me.  He hugged me and told me how beautiful I looked when I first woke up.  I snuggled close to him and smiled, thinking, “I dare anyone to try to take him from me.”  Mine. Mine. Mine.  🙂

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