I have a serious complex. As far as I know there’s not even a name for it but it’s out there and I have it. Sometimes it’s humorous and sometimes it’s annoying and sometimes it causes me to laugh during highly inappropriate situations. Unfortunately, I cannot have a conversation, or listen to someone speaking, without hearing what they said, finding the associated song lyric (or verse) and then playing the song in my head for as long as I can remember the lyrics.
Does that make sense?
For example, I just overheard a co-worker say, quite snarkily, to another co-worker “Well, YOU oughta know!” What happens in my head? “You, You, You oughta knoooow! ‘Cause the joke that you laid in the bed that was me and I’m not gonna fade as soon as you close your eyes, and you know it, and every time I scratch my nails down someone else’s back I hope you feel it
Well, can you feel it? And I’m here, to remind you of the mess you left when you went away
It’s not fair, to deny me of the cross I bear that you gave to me you, you, you oughta know!”
Yeah! You tell ’em Alanis!!! (side note: Angry Alanis is wayyy better than happy mellow Alanis.)
Or last night at home my husband said, “You know me” and, of course, what does my mind do? It hears, “Ya’ll know me still the same OG but I been low key hated on by most these ****** with no cheese, no deals and no G’s, no wheels and no keys” Now, I don’t know Dr. Dre quite like I know Alanis Morisette but I knew enough to giggle at the verse in my head. I received a quizzical look in return. I had to explain myself and all I could say was, “You said ‘You know me’ and I had that “Ya’ll know me” song in my head. I received another quizzical look. He said, “You mean ‘Forgot About Dre‘?” Yes. I meant that one. Leave it to Mr. Dre-Superfan-Guru-Genius to know the name of the song. He then says, “Nowadays everybody wanna talk like they got something to say but nothing comes out when they move their lips just a bunch of gibberish and motherfuckers act like they forgot about Dre.” Way to go! Thanks for the lyrical help. Gosh…I love that man. He gets it.
It doesn’t stop there though. Oh no! I heard a co-worker get frustrated with her work and whine, “Oh my God!” and me? It starts. “Oh my God I’m so in love I found you finally, you make me want to say Oh, oh , oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Ohh my god – You make me want to say Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Fell so hard for honey out of all the girls up in this club this one got me whipped, just off one look, yep I fell in love this one something special, this one just like dynamite” I don’t even like Usher and that song is ridiculous. A song called OMG. Really? It’s awful and yet…still…there it is.
Someone says, “I’ll Getcha!” and of course I hear, “I’m gonna getcha getcha getcha getcha one way or another I’m gonna see ya I’m gonna meetcha meetcha meetcha meetcha one day, maybe next week I’m gonna meetcha, I’m gonna meetcha, I’ll meetcha I will drive past your house and if the lights are all down I’ll see who’s around” Stupid soundtrack song from a lame movie from 2000 (yes 13 years ago) that I never liked anyway. Why does that happen?
Yesterday my supervisor was telling me about a huge blow-up fight between her and her husband. At one point she said, “I told him how can he say I’m selfish? I’M SELFISH? Everything I do, I do for him!” Really? “You know it’s true everything I do, I do it for you Look into your heart, you will find there’s nothin’ there to hide take me as I am, take my life
I would give it all, I would sacrifice Don’t tell me it’s not worth fightin’ for I can’t help it, there’s nothin’ I want more you know it’s true everything I do, I do it for you.”
Oh Bryan Adams…only you could help me turn the fight of the century into a sweet sappy love song! Only you and this sick, serious, melodic complex of mine.