My new blogger friend, Lottie Eve, sent me a link earlier to a website called Holiday Insights which lists all of those absurd little holidays like January 4th – Trivia Day and February 20th – Hoodie Hoo Day (I have no idea!). The one that really got my attention though was April 6th, or the first Friday in April, which is National Walk to Work day.
Am I the only one laughing right now?
Me? WALK to work? In APRIL??!
LOLOLOLOL. Yeah, right. Like that’s going to happen.
I don’t care if it’s a holiday or not, there is no way I’m walking to work on the first Friday in April.
Well, there are a few reasons so please, continue…
For one, it’s April. Haven’t you ever heard that phrase, “April showers bring May flowers?” Doesn’t that imply that April is one hell of a rainy month? Am I really expected to walk through a Florida April thunderstorm to get to work just because it’s a silly holiday? Oh, now sure, I could be a good sport about it and put on my cute galoshes and carry a bright cherry umbrella and plug right along but somehow I really doubt that’s going to happen.
Let’s not forget, it’s a long way to work from my house. It’s about 20 miles or so, down the interstate, with crazy old Florida drivers. I’m not going to walk down the interstate for 20 miles dodging crazy old Florida drivers while wearing cute galoshes and carrying a bright cheery umbrella just because it’s supposedly a holiday. No. No. No. No. No.
Also, did you catch that it’s on the INTERSTATE? Don’t you know what happens on the Interstate? There is a ton of bad stuff that can happen on the interstate. I could be hit by a speeding car. I could be hit by a speeding truck. I could be hit by a speeding van. I could be kidnapped and stuffed into a speeding van. I could be kidnapped by a psycho trucker. I could be attacked by a serial killer. I could be attacked by a regular killer. I could be attacked by a dog. I could be attacked by an alligator. I could be attacked by a bobcat or a Florida panther. I could be bitten by a snake.
Oh my gosh, it’s a scary world out there!
The most important thing though is that I work for the Government and we have holidays off so, really, none of this even matters. I’ll be in the comfortable coziness of my own bed while other people, who choose to observe and celebrate this ridiculous day are walking to work.