Tomorrow is a big day for my family. Tomorrow my little sister is getting married.
I’m not sure why it’s hitting me just now that this is a big deal. Don’t you think I would have realized that’s she’s growing up when she turned 18? Or graduated high school? Or turned 21 and was able to legally drink? Or moved out into her own place? Or moved in with her boyfriend (soon to be husband in 30 hours)? No. It takes being within 30 hours of her wedding for me to realize that my little sister isn’t my “little” sister anymore.
All of a sudden I realize she’s not this little kid always:
- Begging to go with me everywhere I go
- Pleading to sleep with me in my bed because she’s scared
- Asking me to play Barbies or My Little Ponies with her
- Looking to see if I’m in the stands at her cheerleading events
- Wanting to play with my hair
- Wanting to play with my make-up
- Admiring me and wanting to be like me
- Mimicking every little thing I do so she can be “just like her big sister”
She’s grown up now and she’s not a little kid anymore. We haven’t been close in a really long time and I haven’t been a great sister to her. I’ve never been a great sister to her and I kept convincing myself I had plenty of time to make amends with her and fix our “sister” relationship but now it hits me…she’s getting married. In 29 hours and 49 minutes she will be walking down the aisle to say, “I Do” and really commit her life to a new family. She will be changing her name and moving away to start her own family. She isn’t going to be 10 minutes away anymore and it’s going to be different…and weird.
She’s the youngest of my family. She was “the baby” and now, just like the rest of us, she’s all grown up. I keep thinking about as this two year old girl who was so determined to play with me and my brother that she tried to climb the makeshift steps to the treehouse that we built all by herself. It set my parents into a panic to look out the back window and see their two year old daughter three rungs up the tree steps! I remember her as this scared little 5-year old girl starting her first day at Kindergarten and clutching my hand for dear-life knowing, without doubt, that I would be in that same school and would protect her if she needed it.
I remember her as this blond-headed little girl. When did she grow up? What happened?