“Vintage” Women


Sometimes I hate stumbling through the internet on StumbleUpon!  You see, Hobby Lobby finally opened up their new store by my apartment and today I went in for the first time.  Oh my gosh!!!  There was home decor aplenty and with all of the holiday stuff out…well…let’s just say it was a woman’s paradise!  The problem however is that despite my best wishes and best intentions I’m not exactly the best decorator.   I try though.  Often I will turn to the web (and by that I mean StumbleUpon) for inspiration.   Today I was stumbling and I found this article on tipnut.com.   It is a collection of household tips from women in vintage magazines in the 1950’s and the 1960’s.  Damn vintage women…so clever!  Please, read on for her tips and my commentary.

Household Tips – A Collection Of Timeless Wisdom

Cut open old socks then sew together to make car wash cloths.  (How clever!  Why the hell am I buying cloths to use for this kind of thing?  I mean, sure, I do re-use socks, and by that I mean I turn them into dog toys, but never have I thought about cutting open the seam and sewing them together.   Perhaps maybe I would have thought of it if I knew how to sew.  I think I blogged about that once before…the need to learn how to sew…maybe I need to get back on that train of thought.)

Test a stain remover first on a section under the hem of the garment to find out if it will affect the color of the fabric before using it.  (Yeah, this one I figured out. Go me!)

Wear white cotton gloves sprayed with furniture polish to do your dusting.  (Naturally.  Why else would I wear white cotton gloves?  I mean, the reason we buy white cotton gloves is we can get them filthy by dusting, right?  That sounds kind of silly to me.  Why not cut open two socks, sew them together, wear them on your hands and cover them with furniture polish.  Ha! Clever.)

Paint the steps of your stepladder and sprinkle clean sand on the paint before it dries, it will give the steps a non-skid surface.  (Oh my gosh!  Shorty McShorty’s like myself are always needing stepladders!  Ok…so…Note to Self: Go to beach and bring sand home.  Buy pretty paint.  Perhaps even stencils?  Follow this tip.

Save those slivers of toilet soap that are usually thrown away, save them until you have a handful. Soak them in water until they are soft then squeeze them together forming a large bar shaped mass. Let harden and you have an extra bar of bath soap in colors too.  (How thrifty!)

For books that got damp or are musty, sprinkle baking soda on the pages and allow time to air out. If there’s mildew on the paper you can rub the baking soda into the spots and lay out to bleach in the sun.  (Ok…Ok…I’m super particular about my books and this never happens but just in case this one is being noted in a special “do not lose” household tip spot.)

Use a clean paint brush to dust pleated lamp shades.  (Bitches!  Does this really work?  I hate these clever women.)

When wheel grease gets on children’s clothes, rub lard on it to remove grease stains.  (Ha! I don’t have kids!  No grease or lard needed here!)

When grass stains get on clothes, use molasses, rub in well and leave several minutes to soak before washing.  (Molasses?!  Where the hell can I even get molasses?  Does the grocery store carry molasses?  If this works why doesn’t every soccer mom, baseball mom, football mom, etc already know about this?!?  Or maybe they do.  Like I said, I don’t have kids so I’m kind of out of my league here (pun intended. Ha!)

To remove white rings from furniture, moisten cigarette ashes with water, apply to ring marks, let dry and brush off.  (No shit.  Really?!???  Wow.  So you mean I don’t have to live with those ugly white rings on my wood furniture?  Really???  Also no more panic if someone forgets a coaster.  Wow!  That’s great!   Now…to find a smoker…)

Remove light burn marks from wood floors by rubbing a piece of steel wool first made wet with soapy water lightly into the burn mark until it’s removed.  (These magical women can remove grass stains, white water rings and burn marks?  How did this knowledge ever get lost?  These women were amazing!)

When storing shoes and boots away for the season, first cover them in old pairs of socks. They won’t be scuffed or dusty when it’s time to bring them out again.  (Yeah, I live in Florida.  We have only one season – summer – so this isn’t a problem for me.)

Baby or olive oil will remove crayon marks from painted walls.  (Once again, I don’t have kids so this isn’t a concern of mine.  Besides, if I did have kids isn’t that why they make chalkboard paint?  Whatever kids…color to your heart’s content!)

Use nailpolish remover to remove price stickers from newly bought items.  (I actually knew this!!!!)

Keep sparkle on the metal trim of handbags, metal compacts, silver earrings, brass buttons, belt buckles and any other metal objects that are difficult to spray with clear nail polish or a tarnish preventive.  (Ok…this one I didn’t know.  Damn it.  I actually felt like a good wife for a second.)

Coating the top of keys with different colors of nail polish will help to identify them quickly.  (Or you can do the modern thing and buy those colored key tabs.  Plus, they can have cool pictures on them too).

Remove stains in vases by filling with tea leaves and vinegar, shake or swoosh until stain disappears.  (Or you can do like I do and stop buying clear vases.  When the vase is white or red or green no one can tell if there is a stain inside or not.  Sure, it’s not as crafty or clean but it works just the same.  Plus, then the stain can be your dirty little secret (pun intended again!  Gosh…I crack myself up!)

Cover your shoes with old socks when painting and you can wipe up paint splatters with your foot as well as protect your shoes from paint.  (Somehow this gives me the vision of someone slip sliding all over the floor.  Turn on some music and have yourselves a damn good time!)

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