While my husband was having his surgery last weekend I was in the OR waiting room praying for a smooth procedure and a healthy recovery. I was also thinking about all of the ways that my life has improved since he became a part of my life and the many, many, many reasons why I love him so much. I broke down in tears at one point thinking about how horribly devastating it would be to ever lose him. I’m so happy and so thankful that he came through everything ok and is healing well (albeit, still in pain). So what makes my husband so incredible? So amazing? So fantastic? So important to me? Well…read on…
- He is confident. I don’t mean cocky or arrogant or self-righteous, I mean confident. I mean that he knows that he is smart and that he is a hard worker and that he is loyal and trustworthy and funny and a good friend and a good lover and very attractive. He knows these things and doesn’t live as though he has to constantly prove anything to anyone. I love a man that doesn’t walk around with a chip on his shoulder. My husband’s shoulders are definitely chip-less. 🙂
- He shows control and restraint regarding bad habits and addictions. My husband does not drink alcohol and I can’t begin to tell you how important it is to me that he can turn away a drink without batting an eyelash. It simply doesn’t affect him. My family has a history of alcoholism and I love that I don’t need to worry about that ever developing in my husband. He does not smoke. He does not use drugs. He did not even want to take the morphine or painkillers in the hospital post-surgery because he didn’t want to take anything that could be addictive. He likes having control over his life and is strong about preventing other substances from having control over him.
- He is trustworthy. I would trust my husband with my life. My husband is incredibly honest and it makes me feel very secure in our marriage and confident in him that he is open and honest with me. He follows through on the promises he makes to me and he doesn’t break commitments. He doesn’t share details about my life with other people and he maintains my confidence. I know when my husband says, “I promise” that he means it and that trust is worth it’s weight in gold.
- He handles money well. I know this may seem kind of trivial and perhaps a silly thing to write in a blog but it’s true. Sure, he will splurge on an expensive piece of technology or on new clothes or a new pair of shoes but it’s not frivolous spending. He doesn’t make big purchases without consulting me, he doesn’t nickel and dime our money away and he is conscious of our spending. He waits until the computer, or car, or phone, or television, is past its life before he rushes to replace it. We discuss finances and are open about money. I know I could put every penny we had in his hands and could feel confident that all would be ok.
- He is spontaneously romantic. I’ve heard about and read about those husbands who wrote a love letter to their wives every Sunday morning for their entire marriage and I’ve thought, “Aww! That’s so sweet!” and then I’ll think, “But how very predictable.” What would happen if one Sunday he forgot? It would be crushing. My husband is romantic and sweet but spontaneously so. One morning I got out of the hot shower and saw that he had snuck in to the bathroom while I was in there and drawn a heart and an “I love you” in the steam on the mirror. One morning I woke up and found a love note stuck on the mirror. One morning I woke up to an alert on my phone that my husband had tagged me in a post on Facebook. I checked it and it was a sweet loving you-are-the-greatest-wife-in-the-history-of-wives status update. He will rub my feet unprompted just because he wants to touch me. He will hold my face when he kisses me. He will do little thoughtful things all of the time that say to me, “I love you” and I love that.
- He admits when he is wrong and apologizes. First, let me say that I am not one of those women that has to be right all of the time. I can be wrong. I have been wrong. I will admit when I’m wrong. I appreciate that my husband can, and does, do the same. We have our arguments, and all couples do, but I like knowing that the argument is over an actual disagreement which must be settled and a compromise must be reached instead of feeling like it’s simple stubborness and refusal to back-down. There have been times when my husband has said, “I’m wrong. I’m sorry.” and I like that he can say that when needed. I can say that too. It’s very healthy and it makes me feel secure in knowing that we are communicating effectively and that neither of us are too proud to admit when we need to give in a little.
- He is kind and compassionate. My husband has a heart the size of Jupiter (which is the largest planet in our solar system in case you didn’t know). He does not want to see any person, or any animal, or any living being in pain or hurting. It does not matter if it is physical or emotional pain, if someone or something is hurting my husband wants to help them. He is very compassionate and sensitive and loving. He wants to feed the hungry and house the homeless and protect the injured. He is amazing.
- He is strong and protective. I don’t mean he’s a huge Goliath-like bodybuilder guy and I’m thankful of that because I dislike that gorilla look. What I mean is he is confident and protective and willing to stand up for me, or for us, if necessary. I know that if someone was treating me badly, speaking badly of me, or mistreating me in any way that I could count on my husband to be there for me and protect me, stand-up for me, and defend me. It means a lot to me to have someone that I can always rely on to be there for me 100%.
- Family is important. Above all else, our family is important. Yes, we both have our own parents and siblings but when he and I married then we became a family. He and I and our litle doggie became a family of our very own and it’s evident that we are priority #1. My husband is loyal to his family, protective of his family, loving and kind to his family and always trying to make sure that his family is happy and well taken care of and that is important to me. He’s a good man, a loving husband and one day, perhaps, he will be a devoted father. He does want children and knowing that he wants to be a father and that it would be just me pushing for a baby, makes me feel that much better and more confident about his involvement in family life.
- He respects our wedding vows. I told my husband before we got married that it was going to be forever with me. I can be incredibly stubborn, I don’t give up, and I will not consent to divorce. He agreed and signed on to a lifetime of forever with me. What makes me feel fantastic is knowing that my husband is aware of, and respects, those vows. He promised to stay with me, and loyal to me, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, and I know that he means it. (Refer also to #3) I know that when money is tight my husband will be by my side making cuts and sacrificing little things until things get better. I know that when life is good and the days are bright and long that he will be by my side enjoying every minute of it. I know that if I were to ever get sick, be suffering, have cancer, lose an arm, go blind, that my husband would stand beside me. I know it because he’s a good man and he promised me he would.
- He shares my faith. I will admit first that the reason I came back to my faith and recommited myself to the Lord is because of my husband. I was in a really bad place spiritually. I felt spiritually abandoned, starved and bankrupt before my husband came in to my life and led me back. It is the greatest thing he has ever done for me because he has essentially insured that not only will I be able to spend my forever with the Lord but we will be able to spend our forever with the Lord. I love knowing that I will be able to spend my life with my husband and my afterlife with my husband. I love praying with my husband, blessing meals with my husband and discussing our faith with my husband. It makes me feel strong and confident knowing that my husband has God on his side and helping him through life.
The Book of Proverbs says a lot about what makes a good husband. It says a good husband is kind and compassionate (12:10), is honest (29:24), is hard-working (12:11; 27:23-27), is truthful (12:17,19), exercises self-control (12:15; 16:32), has a gentle tongue (12:18; 15:1-2,4), is generous (14:21; 28:27), is willing to be corrected and listens to counsel (12:15; 15:12,31-32; 28:13; 29:1), is a man of integrity (19:1; 20:7), is faithful and reliable (17:17; 29:3; contrast 25:19; 31:3), is forgiving (19:11), is willing to admit he is wrong (28:13), is a man who avoids excesses (20:1; 23:20-21, 29-35; 31:3-9), has a concern for others, especially the poor and the oppressed (29:7), can keep a confidence (17:9; 26:20), fears God and is obedient to His Word (13:13; 14:26; 16:20; 28:25; 31:30). My husband is not perfect but he is pretty close. 99.4% of the time he is perfect and the other 0.6% of the time he stumbles but then picks himself back up, gets back on the right track, and goes back to being incredible. He is resilient (and that is just one more thing I adore and love about him).
My husband is not perfect but he’s perfect for me. My husband is a blessing in my life and I know that God gave me a wonderful and beautiful gift when He brought him in to my life. I am one very lucky woman.