Oh My. Oh My. Oh My.

People are crazy.  They are crazy.  They truly, truly, truly are crazy. At least, I sure do seem to deal with a high percentage of them Monday – Friday from 8am – 5pm.  Allow me to explain…

So I’m at work processing paperwork and answering the telephone and balancing my reports and doing my regular work thing when all of a sudden there’s a *ring* *ring* from my telephone.  Of course, my naturally chipper happy self answers the phone, “Good afternoon…[insert company name here] how can I help you?”

And boy oh boy!  In return I hear,

“What the f*%k is wrong with you people down there?! I’m still not receiving my mail from you. What’s wrong?!? with you?”


So of course I ask for a name, or an address, or an account number, or anything that will help me figure out just what this guy is talking about.  While I’m looking for the account I hear,

“You know what’s wrong with you? You can’t fix stupid!!!”

Oh Lord. He’s going to be one of those.

I finally locate his account and I explain to him that he isn’t getting mail from us because he isn’t authorized on the account. He still owes us a balance from 2006 on an old account he never settled. Naturally…Mr. Angry-Pants decides to throw a fit. He yells and he screams and he tells me that me and my co-workers are stupid. I want to yell back, “No Mr. Irresponsibility we’re not stupid. You’re not angry because we are stupid. You’re angry because we are NOT stupid and we won’t work with your delinquent self!!!” but I didn’t. I was nice. Why? I’m a nice person. He then said (really…he screamed) I paid that on May 24th!

Oh really? Well…let me look.  Yes…he did pay us on May 24th. He paid us the money he owed for a different account on May 24th but he didn’t pay the bad account. Sorry holmes…still circling the no-fly zone.  We argued. 

Him – I paid it!

Me – No sir, you did not.

Him – Yes I did!!

Me – No sir, you did not.

Him – YES!! I did!!!

Me – No sir, you did not.


Me – However, if you have a receipt for your payment or if you have any other proof of payment (a cancelled check, a credit  card statement) I can research that for you to see if it was misapplied, then I can correct the payment, then you will get your mail.

Well, he didn’t like that one bit.  My mistake I guess, who would have thought someone might have kept a receipt? Perhaps kept records of their transactions? Oh…I don’t know…had a bit of responsibility perhaps? No. Silly me.

I heard a whole bunch, “You’re all so f%*&king stupid!!!” and a few “You ignorant b*%ch” and I replied with a simple, “Sir, it might be best if you called back once you calmed down because I am simply not tolerating your language one more time.”  That was it. That was the straw that broke the camel’s back. Now I’ve been “rude” and my behavior is “unbearable” and he wanted my supervisor. Of course…she wasn’t around. I cheerfully said, “Sir, she’s not here at the moment but I can have her call you back shortly.” Oh hell…now he’s irate again. Then he says it…he had to go there…the fool…he said…

“No. Don’t have her call me. I’m coming down there and I’m raising hell!!! All of your ignorant, stupid f%*#ing b%*$#es.”

I hung up. I called our department manager. She notified security. Security contacted the police department and reported his name, address, telephone number, etc (you know…all that info I had already gathered). The police department went to his house.  Threats against a government employee…terroristic threats…endangering public safety…

Me = 1

Angry Douchebag Man = 0


One thought on “Oh My. Oh My. Oh My.

  1. And people wonder why government employees have “bad attitudes”. Multiply that conversation by the 75 or so you receive every day, times 5 days a week, etc, and you would have a “bad attitude” too. 😀 Good on you for keeping your cool! I’d have loved to have been a fly on the wall when the police showed up at his door. 😀

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