Cars


I have such a love / hate affair with cars.   I love them when they (and all of their components) work.  I hate them when they (or any one of their components) do not work.  It can go either way at any time.  I especially hate this…

That’s not me or my car or my car’s smoking engine (in fact, my car’s engine wasn’t smoking at all)  but the look on her face is the same look I get when something goes wrong with a car in my family.  My look would translate to the following if it was able to translate in to words – “What the hell is wrong with you? No, I mean it, answer me! Just TELL me what’s wrong. Please? Please just say it? Cars can do so much these days can’t you just tell me? Why do I have to guess?  Do you need water? Coolant? Oil?  Is your starter ok? Alternator? Transmission? Is it the battery? Do you need a new one? Can I just jump the old one? Is it the spark plugs? That’s ALL I know about cars! I don’t know the names of any other parts. Oh! Radiator! Is it the radiator? I don’t even know what a radiator does but I vaguely remember my Dad mentioning one one time. Gosh…Dad. Why isn’t Dad here? Dad could fix you! He could…couldn’t he? No, probably not. He’s not a car guy.  So can you please just tell me what’s wrong? Then I can call the mechanic and say ‘Hey, my car broke down and needs ……. so how much is it to do that?’ instead of me saying ‘Yeah…so…Mr. Auto Mechanic guy…when I turn the key my car doesn’t start and when I try to drive it doesn’t go anywhere and I don’t know why so can you fix it?’ Please just work! Please just work! Please…please…please. Now…listen here you stupid piece of fancy metal I’m going to close this lid (hood???) and you’re going to stop smoking then I’m going to turn the key and you’re going to start and we’re going to be friends again…ok?”

Yes, the look has a long translation.  It also never works.  Ever.  Once a car decides it’s going to have a problem no amount of anything except a mechanic is going to make it decide to work again. I hate car troubles. In fact, I hate car troubles more than a lot of things.

Things I really, really, really hate but still like more than car troubles = hurricanes, spiders, onions, clowns and polka music.

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