Don’t Worry…The World is Round


This morning a co-worker of mine was late to work which is very unlike her.  She is normally here an hour early (yes…I said an HOUR early). She drinks her coffee and reads the news at her desk and then is ready to start the day at 8am.  I could never pull that off.  I am barely awake when I stumble in to work in the morning.  Regardless, this morning she was late.  She was 10 whole minutes late…very odd…and our supervisor was worried about her.  Everyone here was worried about her. 

The question of the morning was, “Where is she???” We called her cell. No answer.  Oh crap…missing person!

Then she walked in happy and jovial as if this morning was the greatest morning in the history of mornings.  Our supervisor said to her, “You’re late. We were worried about you.”

Her response?  “Yes. I’m sorry I’m late.  There was no need to worry though.  The world is round, I would have gotten here eventually.”  I couldn’t help it.  I cracked up.  Lol.  Then I stopped laughing.  I realized it was truly no laughing matter because that is a dangerous, very dangerous, way of thinking.  Of course we should have been worried, especially due to her “the world is round I would have gotten there eventually” thought process. 

Here’s why…

  1. We live in Florida and Florida is a peninsula.  If she had left her home and headed any direction except for North (which would have been silly since she lives just East of our office) she would have driven straight in to either the Gulf of Mexico or the Atlantic Ocean.
  2. Despite many advancement in various forms of technology the population at large does not drive any sort of vehicle which is capable of going from land to sea.  Therefore she would have driven her vehicle directly off land and found herself a salty grave.

Or…

  1. Let’s say she did drive North.  Silly, I know, but let’s imagine it.  She would have driven through Florida and through the rest of the United States  before ultimately crossing the border in to Canada.  Then she would have most likely driven off the coast right in to the Labrador Sea on her way to Greenland.
  2. See #2 above about how most cars (hers included) can’t go from land to sea.

Or… just for the sake of contemplation. Let’s imagine that her car is able to go from land to sea (it can’t…but let’s play pretend)…there are a lot of other reasons to worry…

  1. Sharks
  2. Whales (remember…one ate Pinocchio! They can be dangerous)
  3. Pirates.  Yes, they do still exist and they are brutal.
  4. Vikings. I don’t know but if she headed North she was heading toward Greenland and there might be Vikings up there. They wear horned helmets and carry axes. I’d imagine an encounter like that could be something worth worrying about.
  5. Riptides
  6. Whirlpools (remember Charybdis in “The Odyssey”?  That was a scary whirlpool!
  7. Since we’re talking about “The Odyssey” remember Scylla? The 7-headed monster?  Yeah…sea monsters make the list.  Think about the Loch Ness Monster.  Scary.
  8. And since we’re talking about the Loch Ness Monster…on that fanciful route what about Sasquatch?  If she was driving all over the country it might have gotten her too.  Or the Mothman.  Scary stuff right there.
  9. The Bermuda Triangle. If it could take down Amelia Earhardt it could take down my co-worker.
  10. Rogue waves
  11. Tsunamis. Imagine, one took out a huge chunk of Japan so I’m sure it could take out her little car.
  12. Earthquakes
  13. Underwater volcanic eruptions. They say one might have been the reason for the disappearance of Atlantis.  Her little car doesn’t stand a chance against something that could take out a whole island city.
  14. Aliens. What?? No less likely than Sasquatch or a Sea Monster.

Just a few things to think about.  I understand her logic, it was just heavily flawed.  I’m just glad she’s safe, I could have worried myself all day.

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