My apologies upfront because despite this being titled “My Happy Dance” this is a little bit more frustrated than previous posts. Enjoy!
It’s not that I don’t value friendships because I do. I value friendships a lot and I would do just about anything I could possibly do for my friends. I’m a good friend. It’s just that I am at a point in my life where there are certain things that I am not willing to compromise for the sake of friendship, namely my sobriety.
I’m not going to provide details because frankly, they are boring and I promise you that they don’t matter, let’s just suffice to say that I have not always been sober, there have been substance and alcohol abuse problems and I am very happily free and clear of all of that now. I have been free and clear of all of that for a long time.
This kind of stuff just doesn’t appeal to me anymore. I kicked it out of my life a long time ago and I’m better off without it.
How am I better off without it?
Well, my finances are better. I’m not spending a bunch of money on addictions anymore, I’m spending my money on baseball games and movies and shoes! Omg…the shoes! 😀
My mind is clearer. I haven’t felt foggy or hungover in a long time. I think more clearly, I’m more alert and I’m less tired. I’m a lot happier (because you know, alcohol is a depressant after all). Generally, I just feel better.
So it’s really hard now when friends call and say, “Hey! Do you want to meet up with us tonight for a few drinks?” or, “Hey! We’re going to Trivia tonight, you coming?” (Trivia is held at a Sports Bar, alcohol is highly encouraged and heavily consumed) or, “Girls Night!!! Movies and Margaritas?” or, “Dollar beers at the ballpark tonight! Wanna go?” I have to say, “No” every time. My friends know why, I’ve told them why and they understand. Unfortunately, I do not feel comfortable around, nor do I enjoy the company of, people who are intoxicated and my friends simply refuse to have any socialization without alcohol. There were a few attempts at compromise. I would hang out with them and they would drink, I would not, but the situation became unbearable. The more they drink they more annoying the situation would get. They would become argumentative, confrontational, antagonistic, sarcastic, loud, rude, and perverse. Ohhh the joys of alcohol! Ultimately they would not remember most of the night and I would be left with negative memories.
My husband and I both have reconnected with God and I have reconnected with my sobriety and I ultimately had to make a choice. I could continue to spend time in the company of people who do not know how to enjoy themselves without a beer in their hand, or I could continue my sobriety and grow closer to God. I chose my sobriety and God. I’m not saying that my former friends are bad people, nor am I saying that people that drink are bad people, what I am saying is that alcohol, and the people that indulge heavily in it, have no place in my regular circle of friends. It wasn’t a warm-fuzzy-feeling decision but it was a I-have-to-do-what-is-best-for-me decision.