I know what you’re expecting. I know you’re probably expecting some long expletive-filled tirade about some whorish bitch who’s trying to steal my husband or about some catty co-worker who tries to steal credit for my work or some other woman I am in some inane competition with but you would be wrong. This is not about a woman at all. It’s not about a man either. It’s about this ,
It’s about a comma. THIS —-> , is my nemesis.
I can hear you. I know you are saying, “Nemesis? Really? Is that what you’re going to call it?!? A tiny little comma. It’s a nemesis?!” and my response is “Yes. ”
Let’s review. Nemesis, as defined by dictionary.com since I’m too lazy right now to look up Webster’s, is
1. something that a person cannot conquer, achieve, etc.: The performance test proved to be my nemesis.
2. an opponent or rival whom a person cannot best or overcome.
3. ( initial capital letter ) Classical Mythology . the goddess of divine retribution.
4. an agent or act of retribution or punishment.
Now, #2-#4 obviously make no sense but #1…oh yes #1 does! Damn that comma! It is just something I cannot conquer. I’ve written four papers for one of my classes this semester. I have earned 100% as a grade on each one of them however three of them have also come back to me with little marks about how I’ve missed a comma here and a comma there. Technically I should have earned a 95% or a 98% on each of those three but my teacher has been kind to me and overlooked those few little grammatical errors. Those few little grammatical errors still grate on my nerves!
Why, oh why, oh why, oh why can I not conquer that damn comma?!
I can conquer that damn comma. As a matter of fact, I have conquered that damn comma. I conquered that damn comma years ago!
So what went wrong?
I don’t know. I truly don’t but if I have to blame something I’m going to blame blogging. I’m going to blame the freedom that comes with blogging and the freedom for me to be able to write whatever, and however, I want without worrying about proper grammar and grades. When I blog I focus more on capturing my feelings so I use grammar like ?!? which isn’t really correct but you understand that it’s a WTF type of question. I use WTF which isn’t correct. I also use a lot of … which isn’t correct either. I’m also able to write long run-on sentences if I want to in order to show you, as my reader, the rambling, constant, crazy train of thought that I happen to be on at the moment or I can write short, choppy sentences if I feel like being more abrupt. When I blog, in my mind, I always get a 100% and every post deserves an “A.” In school though, I have to be grammatically correct. 😦 Oh…and in my blog I’m allowed to use smiley faces! Hooray!