I Miss You When…


This will be another sad post. I’m sorry but there are circumstances which warrant this and unfortunately, once started, it can not be stopped. I was reading through my blog (this blog) and just scanning through some old posts just for the fun of it and I chuckled at a few and smiled at a few and then…there was one that almost made me cry. “Almost” crying is better than actually crying though, which is what I was doing when I wrote the post the first time. I found the post I wrote in December called, “Kind of Sad…I’m Sorry” which is about my grandfather and it was sad all over again. I didn’t want to cry though, it’s been a really great night (trivia team William Shat-n-er Face won! I love winning!) so I quit reading it. I closed WordPress and I went over to Twitter instead. Ohhh Twitter…how I love and hate you some nights. I scanned the trending topics and one of the topics was “iMissYouWhen” and immediately my mind went to this…

Grandma… #iMissYouWhen I eat any kind of vegetable. It makes me think of your garden and how we will never share that again.

Grandma… #iMissYouWhen I hear Dolly Parton. Lol. I know I never liked her but you always did and that makes me smile.

Grandma… #iMissYouWhen I see the Dallas Cowboys play football. I cheer for them now, not because I like them, but because you did.

and then I thought, “there are going to be too many of these. I should just go blog and so here I am and I’m sorry but I need to send some tweets to Heaven and WordPress is the best way to get them there (or say I say and that’s all that matters.)

Grandma… #iMissYouWhen I see a cat, or touch a cat, or hear a cat or read about a cat. I have an eternal picture in my mind of you in your pink recliner with a cat on your lap. I wish I had one I could print but the one in my mind is still beautiful.

Grandma… #iMissYouWhen I drive by a McDonalds. You ate Happy Meals every week until your last week here with us just so you could have the toy. You never opened them and that drove me crazy as a child. As an adult, it’s a memory that makes me smile.

Grandma… #iMissYouWhen it is November and Thanksgiving is here. The best Thanksgiving’s were the ones I spent with you in West Virginia. Thanksgiving will never be the same again, it will always be a bittersweet holiday for me.

Grandma… #iMissYouWhen I see little elderly women. I live in Florida and so I see little elderly women a lot and they always make me think, “That is someone’s Grandmother. I miss my Grandmother.” and it makes me sad.

Grandma… #iMissYouWhen I hear country music, especially Alabama. Their song, “It Works” will forever make me think of you and Grandpa.

Grandma… #iMissYouWhen I drink. I know you hated when I would drink, whether it was a beer or a mixed drink, it didn’t matter. You hated alcohol. I promise I don’t drink like I used to, in fact, I barely drink at all. You would be proud of me.

Grandma… #iMissYouWhen I say a prayer, or read the Bible, or see an angel. I know you always wanted me to find my faith again and you would be happy to hear that I have. I hope you know I have.

Grandma… #iMissYouWhen it is April. Your birthday was in April and I’ll always think of you.

Grandma… #iMissYouWhen it is July. July 4th was always one of our favorite holidays to celebrate together and I lost you in July. July is very bittersweet.

Grandma… #iMissYouWhen I cook. You were the greatest cook I have ever known and have always been a true inspiration to me. I only wish to be 1/2 the cook that you were. I still can’t make biscuits like you could but I do try.

Grandma… #iMissYouWhen … well … I miss you everyday. I promise. I miss you every. single. day. I don’t feel like my heart will ever heal from losing you. I hope that you remember the last picture we took together…me in my jean shorts and pink shirt and you in your khakis and your white “peace” shirt with your hair uncombed. We were in your front yard and you look so pale and sick. Remember? You didn’t even want to take that picture but I begged you and you finally gave in to my pleas. I have it on my mirror. I see it everyday and it makes me smile. It makes me sad too because I know that you were so sick that day, I know that you couldn’t breathe and I remember that I lost you just three weeks after that picture was taken but it makes me smile because I remember what a wonderful weekend I had with you during my visit to see you. I remember laying in bed with you doing your favorite word searches and I remember talking to you and hearing your stories and I remember telling you how much I loved you. I meant every word.

I miss you and I miss you SO much. My comfort comes from knowing that one day I will see you again and until we meet again I hope that you are happy in Heaven. Sometimes I think about you sitting in Heaven with my husband’s grandmother, drinking a cup of tea (or coffee) and keeping an eye over the two of us down here. It’s a thought that makes me very happy, I never met her but from the way he talks about her I think that you and her would be good friends, I bet the two of you are the greatest angels in heaven (or at the very least, the two with the biggest hearts).

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