My walk with God has been tumultuous to say the least. I grew up with Him, then lost my way amidst my teenage rebellion, then found my way back in my early 20’s, then personal grief and turmoil led me astray again, and now in my late 20’s I’m finding my way back again. It’s been a very on again, off again relationship but lucky for me God always loves and God always forgives and God always takes me back when I ask.
It’s been a difficult journey back to His arms this time. For years my life was heartache after heartache and struggle after struggle and stress on top of stress and each new struggle drove me farther and farther away from Him. I never completely let go though, I kept wanting to believe in Him and I would pray and ask for some kind of proof He existed and I wasn’t alone. Looking at that now I find myself wondering what it was that I was expecting to get in response. Was I expecting a booming voice from the sky to speak to me? A burning bush? An Angel bringing messages? I don’t know and I didn’t know then either except that I wanted, and was demanding, answers from God. I had an attitude like he owed me an explanation and proof!
Then one night, I was lying in bed and I was praying and it all clicked in my head. It was as though God was saying, “I bless you and I bless you daily with a beautiful life and much happiness and yet your arrogance has blinded you in to believing you deserve these things. Open your eyes and you will see that I am there and you will have your answers.” Then I started to look at things with a new perspective.
Now I see God in all of the little miracles of life. I see God in my marriage and I see His fingerprints on my job, my finances, my health, my family, and my home. Today I prayed for direction, for guidance, for help in all things to be who I’m supposed to be and to live how I’m supposed to live. I found this Bible verse in response…
”Show me your ways, O LORD, teach me your paths; guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long”