Which came first, the chicken or the egg? It’s a common question, right? Yes. It is not however, the one I’m going to address in this blog. Instead, I have a new question (I’m sorry to have misled you in my blog title)
Which came first, Darth Vader or Yoda’s knowledge that Anakin Skywalker was Darth Vader?
What??? Really???? A STAR WARS post? Yes folks, a Star Wars post. Let me explain, here’s how it all went down…
I was sitting in the lunch room the other day just eating my lunch and minding my own business. In fact, I was minding my own business so much I had my ear buds in and was listening to music on my phone while I ate, very clearly a “I don’t want to engage in any workplace conversation” sign, right? Wrong. This girl I work with has to ask, “So, what are you listening to?” I had two choices…1) Answer her or 2) Ignore her. For the sake of workplace politeness I chose 1 and said, “The Saga Begins.” “Who’s THAT?!” she asks all bewildered. Groan. “It’s not a WHO but a WHAT I said. It’s a song. It’s a parody of that My, My Miss American Pie, drove my chevy to the levy but the … song and it’s about Star Wars. It’s commonly attributed to Weird Al.” I said too much, she wanted to hear it so I played it.
A long, long time ago – In a galaxy far away – Naboo was under an attack
And I thought me and Qui-Gon Jinn – Could talk the federation into
Maybe cutting them a little slack – But their response, it didn’t thrill us
They locked the doors and tried to kill us – We escaped from that gas
Then met Jar Jar and Boss Nass – We took a bongo from the scene
And we went to Theed to see the Queen – We all wound up on Tatooine
That’s where we found this boy…
Oh my my this here Anakin guy – May be Vader someday later – now he’s just a small fry – And he left his home and kissed his mommy goodbye
Sayin’ “Soon I’m gonna be a Jedi” – “Soon I’m gonna be a Jedi”
I started to go back to my music when she says, “You know…that’s why Star Wars is so stupid. It’s all Yoda’s fault, you know. The whole thing could have been avoided if he just hadn’t allowed Anakin to be trained as a Jedi. It’s not like he didn’t already know Anakin was Darth Vader.”
Wait…WHAT??? Say that again…
“You know…that’s why Star Wars is so stupid. It’s all Yoda’s fault, you know. The whole thing could have been avoided if he just hadn’t allowed Anakin to be trained as a Jedi. It’s not like he didn’t already know Anakin was Darth Vader.”
Yeah…just as stupid the second time around.
I didn’t want to ask. I was hoping one of the other 7 people in the lunch room who looked as stunned and shocked as me would ask but they didn’t so I had to, “Umm…what do you mean Yoda already knew Anakin was Darth Vader? Yoda didn’t know. I mean, sure he sensed something was amiss but he didn’t know that Anakin was going to be Darth Vader.”
“YES he did!” she insisted. Then she said (Are you ready for this? Are you sure you’re ready? It’s unbelievable. She said…) “Look, I saw the movies from the 70’s! Yoda. Darth Vader. They were both in it. Yoda didn’t tell Luke that Darth Vader was his father even though he knew. Yoda knew that Darth Vader was Luke SKYWALKER’s father and he knew that Anakin SKYWALKER was Luke’s father. Therefore, Yoda knew that Anakin Skywalker was Darth Vader. I saw the movies. Yoda knew.”
I had to try to explain. I shouldn’t have. I should have let it go. I should have just reveled in the stupidity of people and ignored it but I couldn’t. I had to say it.
“No. Don’t you understand the new movies are prequels? PREQUELS. Which means it comes before the old movies. The movie released in the 70’s were 4,5,6 and the newer movies were 1, 2, 3. Yoda did not have a time machine. He didn’t know Darth Vader was Anakin when they were adults and then go back in time to film new movies in which he pretended he didn’t know. How do you even think that? Yoda was in the Dagoba system in the movies in the 70’s and at the end of the last new movie he said, “Take me to the Dagoba system.” Do you think they edited out the last part of that line? Was it supposed to be, “Take me to the Dagoba system. I’ve been there before. It is where I am hiding out 30 years from now before I come back to train Anakin before he becomes Darth Vader.”
Finally one of the men in the room came to my aid and we tried to explain it to her. She didn’t get it. She even told him, “This is the same argument I was having with my husband! You’re just like him. I don’t know why you don’t understand this! If Yoda knew in the 70’s, how could he not know in the 2000’s? That is impossible.”
Oh. I don’t even know what to say. I didn’t know it was possible for someone to even think like that.