That is what was written on the t-shirt (just above the picture of Jesus hanging on the cross) of the man who is the recipient of my “Jack-Ass of the Day” award. I’ll admit I don’t give them out daily so it’s more like my “Jack-Ass of the Whenever I Feel Like Giving One Out” award but “of the Day” just sounds better. Previously I”ve given them to Brett Favre, Albert Haynesworth, a former co-worker, among others but I’ll set up today’s for you.
Here’s how it all went down…
I’m sitting at my desk at work, minding my own business, typing in my computer screen processing the Finance paperwork and balancing receipts when this big burly bearded man walks up to my desk and tosses his bill down in front of me.
Let me remind you, there is a BIG sign that says…
Yeah, basically it says WAIT HERE JACK-ASS UNTIL SOMEONE ACKNOWLEDGES YOU AND ASKS YOU TO COME TO THEIR DESK BECAUSE WE ARE WORKING ON FINANCE PAPERS THAT ARE PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL AND FRANKLY NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS! YOU WOULDN’T WANT SOME RANDOM STRANGER SEEING YOUR FINANCIAL RECORD WOULD YOU? HAVE SOME RESPECT PLEASE! only it condenses all of that down to five or six politer words.
So, back to the story, he walks up and tosses his bill down on my desk and on the papers I’m working on. I was irritated so before I acknowledged him I glanced at the photo of my husband (that always makes me smile) and then I looked up at him, smiled, and said, “How may I help you?”
His reply? “Obviously, I want to pay that damn bill!”
I scanned it, told him how much to pay, and he tosses his crumpled money all over the desk top and then just waits while I gather it up, organize it, count it and post the payment. I hand him the receipt and he greedily just snatches it out of my hand, grumbles to himself and storms away, slamming the door as he left.
1) He pays NO attention to the sign that is posted.
2) He doesn’t care that I have balance statements all over my desk, am furiously typing on an adding machine and am obviously not prepared to have a customer at my desk.
3) He practically THROWS his papers at me and on top of the reports I am currently working on.
4) He shouts AND cusses at me.
5) He’s rude. He doesn’t even acknowledge me when I saw Thank You, much less reply with a, “You too.”
6) He snatches the paper out of my hand, almost leaving me with a paper cut, and then cusses to himself as he walks away.
So…How Do YOU Live, sir? You live like a Jack-Ass! You, sir, are the complete opposite of every single thing that t-shirt picture and slogan stand for and you, sir, are exactly the kind of person that should NOT be walking around town wearing a shirt like that, trying to make other people examine their lives and behavior, when you yourself are an offensive, boarish, ogre!
That all being said, I’ve helped 118 other people today who have all been absolute darlings and it’s a horrible shame that one brute like that can bring the day down. Oh well, it’s after lunch now and the day begins anew. Farewell Jack-Ass, good luck explaining your behavior to the Big Guy upstairs if you ever get there.