It’s 11:08am. I’ve been at work for 3 hours and 8 minutes and I have already seen wayyyyyy too many stomache-churning things for one day. I’ve seen so many that it would be incredibly selfish for me to keep them all to myself and since my momma always taught me to share, here you go, a list of things that have turned my stomache this morning…
1. A 300+ pound man that smelled like rotten fish.
2. A 35-40 year old woman with yellow teeth who, instead of having gold plating on her teeth, had gold stars stuck to the front of her front two teeth. Yes…gold stars!
3. A baby with a whooping cough. I know, it’s more heartbreaking than stomache-churning but still…it’s my list so I can put whatever I want to on here.
4. A sweaty, stinky, middle-aged man in a half shirt who called me a “cute little thing.”
5. A 30-ish year old man with fingernails longer than mine. They had to be at least 1.5 inches beyond the tips of his fingers.
6. Oh…and those fingernails? They were yellow.
7. A woman with a rainbow-colored mullet. Mullets are dead people! In fact, I don’t know that they were ever really alive and trending to begin with, they are hideous, stop cutting your hair like that!
8. A 250+ lb woman with sweat puddles on the front her shirt reaching IN TO HER BRA to get the money out to pay her bill. It was wet. Gross!!! Sometimes, you just can’t have enough hand sanitizer.
9. Pictures of abused animals. Granted, that was my fault, I was perusing on the ASPCA website.
10. A 5o-ish year old woman in daisy duke denim shorts and a belly baring tank top with a hot pink bow in her hair and NO teeth. NONE. NOT ONE. NO teeth! Do you know what no teeth means? It means there’s nothing to brush. Do you know what not brushing your teeth does to your breath? Imagine. Can’t imagine? Don’t brush your teeth for a week. Better yet, have someone else not brush their teeth for a year then have them lean in within about a foot of her face and breathe heavily. That’s what that lady did to me. I almost died. I swear.
11. Ewww more wet money! What’s with the wet money people? Seriously? It’s gross! I don’t even know where this wet money came from, it was already in his hand when he walked in the door. Were his hands that sweaty? Did he have it down his pants? Did his wife have it in her bra? WHERE was it? Why is it wet? More hand sanitizer…
12. A lady just coughed in my face. It’s time like this that make me wish we had protective glass in front of us.
Ok, well that’s it. I’m getting sick to my stomache just thinking about all of this again.
Just remember, good hygiene isnt’ just for you, it’s for those around you too.