The hardest part about moving is remembering the people you left behind and realizing how completely irreplaceable they are…
This past weekend was tough, let’s not talk about why, but it was hard. I was emotional all weekend and I found myself going through a flurry of emotions so fast I wasn’t sure what I was feeling most of the time. I was optimistic, I was sad, I was disappointed, I was determined, I was discouraged, but through it all I was looked at to be the strong and steady “rock” for those that needed the support. I tried to keep my head up and find a way through the muck and the mire. It wasn’t easy, but I did it. Later in the evening, once things had calmed a bit and everything around me seemed to have a settled and a game plan was in place I felt like breaking down. I wanted to call a friend and talk and cry and know that I wasn’t as alone as I was feeling. I wanted to call Erica or Amy or Amanda…I wanted this…
and it was really hard when I realized it wasn’t there. I couldn’t call them. I thought about calling Erica but it didn’t feel right. It’s only been 8 months since I moved but so much has happened in those 8 months and we have barely kept in touch about it aside from a few updates and posts on Facebook. Our friendship, which was so close, has dwindled down to a few written blurbs here or there which are really more like public service announcements than keeping in touch with good friends. She didn’t call me after her and her boyfriend reunited, I didn’t call her after my marriage, she didn’t call me after she moved in to her new place, I didn’t call her after my promotion at work and when you don’t call to share the good news how do you call to bitch and stress when things go wrong? I thought about calling Amy, we’ve known each other since we were 5 years old but in the 8 months since I’ve moved she has had a baby and is pregnant with baby #2. I thought about calling Amanda but we have definitely drifted apart, she didn’t even return my last e-mail. It’s hard to sit and think about how much things have changed and when I was talking to my husband about how I miss my friends I told him, “It’s really sad to think about how far I’ve drifted from the people that were so important to me. It’s hard sometimes to even think about where our lives are now, only 8 months after I moved, and realize that some of my closest friends are now like strangers.”
Why is it so hard to make new friends? It wasn’t this hard when we were children. When I was 10 making new friends was easy!
Me – “Hi! I’m Ashley. What’s your name?”
Stranger – “Hi! I’m Suzie-Q. I like your shoes.”
Me – “Thanks! I like your bracelet.”
Potential New Friend – “I make bracelets. I have boxes of thread and beads at home.”
Me – “Wow, that sounds cool!”
New Friend – “I’ll show you if you want. We can make friendship bracelets!”
See? Easy. Then we would jump rope and tease boys and plan a sleepover and a friendship is formed. Why is it so hard these days? I think it’s because until we are 18 we are all at the same stage in life, we make friends with people who go to our schools, who are in our grade, who are in our clubs, who participate in the same sports and activities, and it always seems to be the same people over and over again. Then we grow up and we graduate high school and we graduate college and everything starts diverting off on all these other paths. Some people decide to take off and travel, some people get married and start families, other people become completely career-driven, some people wild-out and party, and suddenly the people you knew aren’t the people you know and the people you know are really strangers.