It Wasn’t Me


We need a new car. There are no if’s and’s or but’s about it, we need a new car. After having problem after problem after problem with my car last Fall we finally decided to sell it and downsize to the one car for a while. It worked beautifully for 8 months but now it’s time to buy another one.

Now, like all good consumers about to make a big purchase I pulled a copy of my credit report. Yes, it’s true you can get a free copy of all three credit reports without having to register an account or sign up for any services. You just go to annualcreditreport.com. It’s legit and it’s free and it’s associated with the credit bureaus. You can only pull it once a year (I usually pull it around my birthday so I don’t forget). Anyway I reviewed my credit report…

Credit Card #1 – Check. Yes, that’s my card. Yes, that information is correct. Ok, looks good…moving on.

Credit Card #2 – Check. Yes, that’s my card too. Yes, that information is correct. Ok, looks good…moving on.

Credit Card #3 – Wait. What? #3? I don’t have a third credit card! ABC Bank? I don’t have an account with ABC Bank. $300 credit limit? Opened in November 2010? Ummm…NO. I DID NOT!

So my next thought is, “How do I dispute this?” Luckily there was a phone number right there on my screen to call for disputes. I called them and told them I did not open an account with ABC Bank in November of 2010, I do not have any accounts with ABC Bank, I do not have a card with a $300 credit limit and I want that account removed from my report immediately! After a little back and forth it went like this…

Service Rep – “Ma’am, the card has been used with CenturyLink and ProGene. Are you familiar with those companies?”

Me – “Yes. No. Well, CenturyLink was the phone company in FL where I moved from but I never had an account with them. ProGene? What the hell is ProGene?”

I started to Google. P-R-O-G-E-N-E.

Me – “Google says, ‘Progene is a male supplement that is mainly designed to increase the amount of testosterone in the body.’ Do I sound like the kind of person that needs to increase testosterone???”

Service Rep – “No Ma’am you do not. The card is near it’s limit.”

Me – “Great. So some loser used my information to open a card to buy testosterone and now is close to maxing it out???”

Service Rep – “Ma’am, there was a payment made. A payment of $30 was made March 1st with a debit card, in your name, with the last four numbers 1-2-3-4. Did you make this payment? It was your debit card.”

I pulled my wallet out of my purse and pulled out every card I have, no card ends in 1-2-3-4. I pulled up my online banking and checked for Feb 25th – March 15th transactions for a credit card payment. Nothing.

Me – “No, I do not. How do you know it was in my name? Did they pay online? You do realize you can type any name in that box where is says “Name on card” right? He (I’m assuming it’s a he b/c of the testosterone purchases) could have just typed my name in, that doesn’t mean I made the payment!”

Service Rep – “Ma’am, you do realize that most people that open fraudulent accounts don’t actually make payments on them, don’t you? Are you sure you didn’t open this account? Or could you have possibly co-signed on a card for someone?”

Now I’m thinking. Did I??? No. I’m certain I didn’t. I am certain, aren’t I? Ok…what was happening in November? I moved in October. If I moved in October I know I didn’t co-sign on a card for a man in Florida in November (it has to be a man, remember, testosterone?!). It had to be in Florida because of the CenturyLink thing. I know I didn’t open any new cards here in November. No, I’m certain, IT WASN’T ME!!!

Me – “I’m sure I did not open an account with you and I did not co-sign on a card for someone. I do not have this account and I am not responsible for it and I’m not paying it. I’m disputing it and I’m disputing it right now and you better take care of this because I’m not paying for this!”

So it went for the next 20 minutes while he researched and I denied and he researched. Finally he said they would freeze the account and be back in touch with me soon regarding their investigation. Apparently “soon” is approximately 10-14 days. I’m so annoyed! Stupid testosterone fueled meathead!!!

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2 thoughts on “It Wasn’t Me

    • Thanks!!! Hearing that a few smiles were cracked over this whole thing brings a silver lining to the irritation. My blog makes you smile, comments make me smile, then I blog again and the whole cycle starts over. Love it! 😀

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