Grumble and Rumble

That is the sound my stomach is making right now because a barbecue restaurant delivery man is too stupid (or too lazy!) to read a delivery label correctly! I wasn’t even hungry before he got here and now? Now my stomach is rolling with grumbles and rumbles and growls! Here is how it all went down…

I’m sitting at work, minding my own business, waiting for the phone to ring or some member of the local community to walk in and need to talk with me and all the while the television in our waiting room is turned to the news and I’m catching the updates on the Casey Anthony trial and generally being kept entertained, although secretly wishing I could re-watch The Hangover II (which we saw last night and found extremely hilarious!). All in all though, it was quiet and I was enjoying it and not having a single thought about lunch. Then the front door opened and the whole room suddenly smelled like barbecue! Oh my, my, my…doesn’t that smell delicious! The delivery man walked over to my desk, a whole box of aluminum foil covered  barbecue-y goodness on his shoulder, smiled that sweet smile and said, “Who ordered barbecue?” I thought to myself, “Who the hell cares who ordered it???? Give it to meeeeeeeee!” I didn’t say that though, I said, “I don’t know sir. Is there a name on the delivery order?” His response? “I didn’t look. The label is on the other box. I’ll have to go and get it.” so then what happens? He leaves the first box (which is smelling AMAZING by the way!) on my desk and walks outside.

Now there I am sitting 6 inches away from a big box full of barbecue pulled pork, barbecue chicken, barbecue ribs, loaded baked potatoes, french fries, and coleslaw and my stomach started to sound very demanding! I could almost hear it, I bet it was saying, “Feed me bitch!!!” Yeah, my stomach has a tendency to get pretty mean when it is hungry. In my head I was imagining something like this…


and doesn’t that look incredible??? It took about 5 minutes for Mr. Delivery Man to return from his truck with Box #2. He walks up to my desk and says, “It is for Mrs. ‘Sheep’.” I called her office, her assistant answers and says, “I don’t think that belongs at our office. I think that is for another location. I’ll call you back.” Noooo! So now I have to wait while she tracks down the proper location for the delivery and I have to smell TWO boxes of barbecue on my desk! This is torture. I just keep imagining this…

 and it’s driving me crazy! I ask Mr. Delivery Man (who I am now thinking is actually the Devil in disguise) if the delivery address is our office or one of the field locations and he replies, “It’s this office.” He didn’t even look at the label but I figured he had to have looked before he left the restaurant so I didn’t push the issue. Finally (about 4 minutes after I called her) Mrs. ‘Sheep‘s assistant calls me back and says, “That’s not for here. It’s for the field location downtown.” I told Mr. Devil, he looked at the delivery label, then says, “Oh, yeah it does say that. I heard your company name and just assumed it was your main office.” I wanted to slap him! Actually, I wanted to climb over my desk and beat him senseless then grab a box of barbecue and run to the lunchroom and devour every single item inside of it! I’m sure it was full of incredible food like this…

and I wanted it!!! I didn’t beat him senseless though, I just watched him pick up the boxes and go back out to his truck and load the food inside and drive away leaving behind an office smelling of barbecue and me now starving!

I have lunch in thirty minutes. I don’t have my car today so I can’t go get barbecue and I forgot my debit card so I can’t order barbecue so it appears as though my barbecue desires are not going to be satisfied and I’m just going to have to eat the lunch I brought with me this morning which consists of a leftover chicken quesadilla and a cheddar biscuit. I wanted it this morning but now it just makes me feel like this 😦  I hate that stupid Mr. Devil Delivery Man. Read your delivery labels!!!


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